Question: Is it possible to conceal one’s farts by walking? Short answer: No.
Question: Do people’s farts accumulate in the air? Short answer: Yes.
Benengeli: Greetings. I understand you may be interested in funding some aspects of our research. Tell me more. The Investor: I’m very impressed with what your College has accomplished this past year. Your understanding of farts is extensive, compelling, and without equal. I would love to contribute to the continuation of the research as well…
Question: Are women’s farts smellier than men’s? Short answer: No.
Question: What do really funny farts sound like? Short answer: Music.
Question: Did Winston Churchill fart during an interview on February 2, 1950? Short answer: Probably.
Question: How smelly are burps? Short answer: Not very smelly.
Question: Which language sounds the most like farts? Short answer: Norwegian.
Question: Is it safe to ignite farts? Short answer: Usually.
In the past we have discussed techniques for concealing farts in public. It now feels appropriate to reveal that some members of the college have been running an informal set of experiments with the exact opposite goal: to maximize attention paid to farts, by strangers, in public.