Junior or Senior Flatologist, Dept. of Colonic Physiology
Author: CH Benengeli
Two Tone Malone
Benengeli: I would like to thank the members of the ICEF for bestowing upon me the honour of introducing our newest member: TwoTone Malone. TwoTone – welcome to the Invisible College of Experimental Flatology! TwoTone: Thanks B – it’s great to be here. I’m thrilled to have a chance to make a contribution to this…
Interview with DickPound
April 7, 2022 marked the one-year anniversary of the smelliest fart ever recorded. According to our best estimate, the fart reached an astonishing 890 ppm of VOCs, nearly double the dose of hydrogen sulfide that would be considered lethal to humans. To mark the occasion, we conducted a brief interview with DickPound1, a member of…
Interview: The Ringer
Editor’s note: One of our readers recently alerted us to the existence of a heretofore unknown farter with truly impressive skills. We have verified that his farts are real human farts, using our Flatus Reflector technology. Although this person is not a professional in the same sense as Mr. Methane, he has spent some time…
Interview: The Investor
Benengeli: Greetings. I understand you may be interested in funding some aspects of our research. Tell me more. The Investor: I’m very impressed with what your College has accomplished this past year. Your understanding of farts is extensive, compelling, and without equal. I would love to contribute to the continuation of the research as well…
Interview: The Adversary
Benengeli: Greetings. Tell us a little bit about yourself. The Adversary: I live with one of the members of the College, but I am not involved in this project.
Interview: Cletus
Benengeli: Greetings. How are you today? Cletus: I’ve been hallucinating. My head is just killing me.
Interview: PizzaHead
The College’s members are a curious and talented assemblage of professionals from diverse academic backgrounds and with a broad range of skills, interests, and sound frequencies. This will be the first in a series of short interviews with some of the members.
Methods
Funding for the College’s first experimental rig totaled $126; this was considered a small sum by the standards of the time. Nevertheless, it enabled the purchase of a single device for monitoring air quality, by means of the total concentration of volatile organic compounds (VOCs) in the vicinity of the sensor. Among the VOCs that…
History of the ICEF
The Invisible College of Experimental Flatology was founded in 2020, back before everything turned out OK, at a time when the forces of buffoonery and biology threatened to unravel the fabric of human civilization. The history of this period hardly needs rehashing. Suffice it to say that people were looking for a distraction.