Junior or Senior Flatologist, Dept. of Colonic Physiology
The Invisible College of Experimental Flatology (ICEF) invites applications for a faculty appointment at the level of Junior or Senior Flatologist. We seek an individual conducting basic research related to fart production, with a focus on the gastrointestinal mechanisms responsible for fart smell. We are especially interested in applicants using methods such as organoleptic assessment, gas chromatographic analysis, activated charcoal treatments, and flatus collection via rectal tube insertion (Suarez tubes). Successful candidates will have track records of creativity and productivity and a desire to participate in a growing community of scientists studying farts. We strongly encourage applications from groups who are historically underrepresented in fart research, such as introverts, women, and achondroplasiacs. Applications should be submitted by October 17, 2022, at 1:30, although applications will be considered until the position is filled. Applicants should submit a curriculum vitae, a summary of current and proposed research, and 3 letters of recommendation to:
Mr. B. Benengeli, Chair of the Search Committee: email@example.com
Consistent with best practices in Human Resources, the successful applicant’s salary will be determined objectively, according to the formula y(eiπ + 1), where y is years of prior experience.
The ICEF, established in 2020, is currently ranked as the #2 Invisible Research College in the field of Flatology, worldwide. It has a vibrant, collegial atmosphere and state-of-the-art facilities for fart collection and analysis. The ICEF is an Equal Opportunity Affirmative Action Employer.