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Interview: The Investor

Posted on September 9, 2021September 9, 2021 by CH Benengeli

Benengeli: Greetings. I understand you may be interested in funding some aspects of our research. Tell me more.

The Investor: I’m very impressed with what your College has accomplished this past year. Your understanding of farts is extensive, compelling, and without equal. I would love to contribute to the continuation of the research as well as to the potential commercialization of some of the concepts.

Benengeli: Is there a specific activity you are interested in, or an application you would like us to pursue?

The Investor: I can see that the general focus of the College is establishing “where farts go” as well as trying to say something about identifying both whether a fart is real and to whom it belongs.

Benengeli: We are certainly interested in all of that. Ideas?

The Investor: I’m imagining blending some of these concepts into a system that could detect who farted in a crowded space (think classroom, shopping mall, movie theater, or open-concept office). Perhaps using your flatus reflector in combination with your work on neural networks and a third-party triangulation solution all running in real-time?

Benengeli: Fascinating. Tell me more.

The Investor: Accountability is important – so being able to properly attribute a fart to the correct source would be useful (avoiding the obvious temptation for individuals to “plagiarize” a fart). I can also see value in crafting an alternate solution for “raising your hand” in a classroom setting, grabbing the attention of the drink-server at a concert or sports venue, or locating lost children at the mall.

Benengeli: We will get right on it.

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